As an Artist or a creative person, the hunt is always afoot for this elusive creature called motivation. For me, there seems to be too much of everything else happening all at once that I cannot focus on being pushed to practice and better my craft.
When I was younger I played the violin, still able to, but I no longer sit down and set the microwave timer for 30 minutes a day and practice scales and songs that were assigned by my teachers. Back then a mere 30 minutes was agonizing, I would crab and whine and sometimes beg my parents to let me do anything else. Now with other avenues, I still have those feelings of whining and overall laziness. I'll drag my feet and have this anxious feeling that I could be doing something more important. But overall that "more important" thing I end of doing instead of what I need to do is waste time with meaningless scrolling on my phone.
Now that battle of anxiety and laziness will be one I fight probably forever. But all is not lost. Yesterday for my current job I worked at a parade in downtown Detroit, MI, the St. Paddy's day parade. I got up before the sun and made my way to the location to set up for my coworkers. I've done this for years now. I'm always on time, I find the energy to do right for others and I work hard. I realize this certain brand of energy is easy for me because I am motivated by helping others. When I work on my art of talents of my own, I think my mind has convinced itself that that is selfish. The act of wanting to get better and practice is a want all about little insignificant me.
I don't believe how I feel is an uncommon belief system in the creative field. As a whole, we all want to get better, but we want to be better now, not later. I will not let myself defeat that want to become better, it's time to se that mircowave timer and work thorugh the tears and the grumbles.